Hispanic at Heart

When my 3-year-old son asked me if he has a Daddy, remembering my vow to always tell him the truth, and trying to come up with age-appropriate language, I responded by telling him that everybody has a birthfather, a birthmother, and a birthfamily. But all families are different, just like all people are different. I told him that our family is made up of a Mommy- that’s me (I pointed to myself), a son- that’s you (I poked his tummy with my finger, which resulted in a giggle); a Grandma; a Grandpa; an Aunt Suzie; and an Uncle Stevie.

I also told him that his birthfamily was in Guatemala and one day, when he’s older, we can visit them if he wants to. He had a few more questions that I gracefully answered before he went off to play. As I watched him walk away, I was wondering what goes on in his mind. I thought to myself… Did I do that right?

Handling sensitive issues, such as adoption, can be tough, especially, if you are a single adoptive parent in a multicultural family, like me. I am Caucasian-American and my son is Guatemalan. We became a family through an international adoption in 2005. August 1, 2008 was our third year anniversary of being Mommy-and-son.

When my son and I are in public, some people will ask me if he is “mine”. I always respond with a resounding and very proud, “Yes”. Some probe a little further and ask if his father is Hispanic. I answer the truth, and say yes, and sometimes elaborate by saying, “and so is his birthmother…” My reaction depends on my mood and the way inquirers ask. My son is always with me and although he may not act like he’s paying attention, he hears everything. So, I have to set the example for when he is older and chooses to answer similar personally-probing questions on his own.

My attempts to bring cultural awareness into our family is sometimes met by outsider resistance. I’ve received comments like, “Why do that, he is American now?” And yes, I made him an American citizen, but he was born in Guatemala. He is a Guatemalan by birth; American by his Mommy’s choice. I was born in America to two Caucasian parents, so I am American. However, the same way some believe my son is just “American” because I adopted him, I feel that I am “Hispanic” because I am his Mommy.

As so many of you know, something happens to new parents when they hold their child in their arms for the first time. For some it’s an awakening that the world no longer exists just for them, but for their child. Your natural parenting instincts take over and like a satellite your life now revolves around that precious child. All of my priorities changed. He is the one I want the world to be a better place for; and it is him who I want to see succeed more than anyone else in this lifetime.

Something happened when I first held my son in my arms. My heart melted as our eyes met. That’s the precise moment I became Hispanic at heart. I may be American by birth, but my heart and the most important thing in my world… my son, are Hispanic.

Published in September 2008 (c)